Sober living

What Are Living Amends? And How Do You Make Them? Cake Blog

To learn about our scholarship program, please click below or contact our team today. Whether or not you’re intimately familiar with the Twelve Steps of AA, you’ve probably heard of Step Nine. Making Amends with Others has positioned itself in the public eye to a degree that many of the other eleven steps haven’t. That’s because it attempts to rectify the outward consequences of the disease. Many alcoholics in early sobriety struggle with how to make direct amends for certain offenses against others. To help, we’ve compiled a list of examples of making amends in recovery that deal with ambiguous scenarios.

  • I believe that without the scholarship, I would have had no choice but to move back home with my parents, resulting in a relapse.
  • It’s important to note that making amends is for the person we hurt.
  • The unfortunate truth is that we’re all human and we all fall short sometimes.
  • We can also make amends by living very purposefully within the bounds of our principles.

In some situations, attempting to make amends may cause more harm than good. Such situations may allow for partial restitution only. And in some cases, you may not be able to make direct amends at all. However, you can still take action in all of these situations to satisfy the spirit and the intent of Step 9 and progress in your step work.

What Do You Say When Making Amends? – The Step 9 Amends Letter

Many people begin making amends as soon as they join AA. In some cases, simply opening up a conversation with a friend or family member about your history of alcohol use can begin the process of making amends. Making any type of amends can be challenging, but in this article, we’ll focus on and tips for how to make them. If you or a loved one is struggling to stay sober or needs help maintaining sobriety while working the 12 Steps, Eudaimonia Recovery Homes can help. Call us or fill out our online contact form today to get started. While living in a halfway house, you will be expected to maintain your own responsibility and take care of yourself.

  • I also made countless promises to her that I did not keep.
  • I let him decide if he wants to do laundry at midnight or wear dirty clothes.
  • By this time, insurance has run out, and families are exhausted.
  • I have been meeting lots of people within the aa community and have a few promising job leads.
  • New Life House has helped young men stay sober for over 35 years.

Often, people with substance use disorders cause harm to others, either intentionally or inadvertently. Step 9 of AA’s 12-step program directs people in recovery to take accountability for actions that may have harmed others and to make amends when possible. In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), making amends is considered a crucial component of long-term recovery. When first writing your list, don’t worry about including everyone you have wronged. Over time, as you strengthen and deepen your recovery from addiction, you will undoubtedly revisit Steps 8 and 9 many times.

Get help for recovery and the 12-Step Program

There are three main types of amends, and it’s important to recognize which one is appropriate in a given situation. Understanding some making amends examples can help the individual correct past behaviors. Practice accepting other’s responses to your efforts and remember that you have done all you can. Sometimes other people need more time to accept an apology.

When you make amends, you acknowledge and align your values to your actions by admitting wrongdoing and then living by your principles. Today, I know my words have value whether they pay attention or not. If they didn’t pay attention, I do my best to let them suffer the consequence. If they take my words for granted, sometimes, I take a break from talking. I don’t punish them with silence (although I did do that in the past). My Mom, on the other hand, loves to complain about Ricky’s behavior.

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